3 things they better have in mexico!

so I've been thinking...(uh-oh)

Mexico is kinda a foreign country... and if I'm going to survive there are three things i cant live with out...

1. chap stick: man you got to love the stuff nothing better that that nice soothing cream specially formulated to make your lips feel delightful... the true Aggie chap stick from Utah state is the best but i am almost positive that wont be in Mexico... but hopefully they have some good flavors like strawberry or cherry... or maybe habanero!

2. Charmin Ultra Strong toilet paper: I'm not even going to say anything about this except its the best... and it sure beats using unknown plants... especially when that unknown plant is poison Ivy.

3. And here is the biggy.... Oreos: yeah i know you could have guessed that that was coming but seriously they are the greatest... they are Americas favorite cookie for goodness sake... the only question is... are the Mexico's favorite cookie? or do the even have them in Mexico?

the thought of me going with out any one of these three things for two years truly is scary... hopefully i can just man up and take the heat... well no hopefully they just have them in Mexico!

gee thanks

so its been a while but nothing good has happened until yesterday

my brother josh and his wife sarah and his two boys elijah and sam were visiting from Maryland and it was going to be the last time i would see them for TWO YEARS... wow the goodbyes have already started,

so as i am saying good bye i give them all hugs and the last one i hug is my 5 year old nephew elijah, and sarah explains to the boys that it will be the last time they see me for a long long time... when she finishes saying this elijah says

"Thats okay i like Dallin better than Cuyler anyway."

wow are you kidding me elijah who says something like that

you know what i think about that elijah...

"Thats okay i like sam better than i like elijah anyway."

haha just kidding... i love you elijah thanks for a good laugh!

Things I learned in my first year of "real" School

So my grades are in, and i am officially done with my first year of SLCC.

here are the top ten most valuable things i learned

1. Paying for credits is way better than paying for an education.

2. The creepy old high school history teachers just get more creepy and old in collage.

3. Even though i pride myself in being a band geek, the band geek stereotype, is pretty true... all you have to do is meet my into to music professor.

4. You might think that your finance professor would know what he is talking about, but if he tells you to invest in GE stock, don't believe him.

5. Any classes you can take that you NEVER have to do the reading assignments and you can still get an A... are defiantly the best classes to take (but lets be honest, 95% of classes at SLCC are that way)

6. People that are for gay rights claim that there is nothing wrong with being gay... but if you call them gay they get really offended... explain that one.

7. Institute is great.

8. Oreos ARE Americas favorite cookie.

9. Some religions believe some pretty crazy stuff, but so does mine... the only difference is, mine is right.

10. There is a reason they call SLCC "Redwood High" another fitting name would be "Redwood Elementary."

SLUGGIES

ALRIGHT!!! its rant time

so yesterday i was at work and this girl came in and she was freken UGLY!!! like ugly to the twelve degree... any who, not only was she ugly but she was dressed in super immodest clothes.

now there are all kinds of words i could use to describe immodest girls, but most of them people would find offencive. so for toady's purposes i will just call them, sluggies.(i have no idea if that is a real word, or what it means if it is.)

anywho it got me thinking...

like 95 percent of sluggies are frecken ugly, not just kinda ugly, but frecken ugly, and i thought, what is it that makes a girl look in the mirror and think, "wow, I'm fetchen ugly, maybe if i dress with more of my ugly skin showing, and i show off more of my ugly body, i wont be so ugly any more." so lets see showing more of your ugly self make you less ugly... hmmm... that's sound logic.

now for the five percent of sluggies that were cute before they became sluggies... what makes them look at another sluggie and think, "wow that girl is the freaken ugly... i should dress like her..." come on people, cute girls dressing like ugly girls does not make the fashions cute... nope... they just make the cute girl, not so attractive anymore...

now i know that there are some guys out there that do not agree with me, to them i say, "get some fetchen taste in girls, you vial pigs!"

and there are some girls that like the attention they get from guys when they dress like sluggies, to them i say, "get some fetchen taste in guys, you know guys that think your cute because you are and not because you dress like a friggen sluggy!!!"

dressing like a sluggy is like smoking, you might think that you look cool and hip for a second but really it just makes you look stupid and ugly, and immature.

so all you girls out there, before go shopping for your new summer clothes, remember the point is to dress cute, not ugly... and if you already have gone shopping and your new shirt is a sluggy shirt go back to the store and demand the rest of your shirt back!!! because I'm sure they only gave you half of it.

now people tell me what you think of this subject. i like it when people tell me I'm right so leave those comments... and if you disagree with me leave a comment too, but realize that if you openly disagree, you are also openly admitting that you are a FREAKING SICKO!!!

habanaro

here is the movie tis pretty awesome, and when i say awesome i mean really dumb

here is the story...

so the other day at maceys a guy i work with and i were looking at the produce dept. we came up to the habaneros peppers and he's like ill give you twenty bucks if you eat a whole one... I'm like are you kidding me twenty buck... i couldn't turn that down.

so he chose the biggest habanero that I have ever seen, it was like an inch and a half long, it was a mean looking pepper.

so i went and got some milk and bread and then i started the challenge... i got my twenty bucks, but man was it HOT!!! i couldn't stop shaking for like twenty minutes after i ate it...

what people don't tell you about eating habaneros is that it is a three act play, the first act is eating it, the second is the stomach ache(its weird you can fill it burning all the way through your digestive system), but the third act is by far the worst, the climax of the whole thing... the third act was BAD!!!

After all is said and done, i would defiantly do it again!!!

Oreo: Behold the Epicness

ALL RIGHT!!! The moment you have all been waiting for(when i say you all i really mean me)

I finished my Oreo Essay of Awesomeness... only at SLCC could you get away with writing a Argument essay on something so pointless.

And every body else in my class did theirs on boring stuff... like gay marriage and obeise people... which make it that much better

So here it is (even though nobody, including me, really wants to read it.)

OREO

America’s Favorite Cookie

“The first one was a sweet one, second one was a blast. Soon I finished off the bag, ate 'em up

real fast. You can see 'em in my teeth, tell it when I talk, had so many, my pancreas just went into

shock.” That is how “Weird Al” Yankovic describes his feelings about his favorite cookie, the

Oreo. Even though no one has proven that Oreos are America’s favorite cookie, there are reasons

to believe that Nabisco’s claim is true; Oreos are the most sold cookie in American grocery stores,

and they are, America’s favorite cookie because Americans prefer Oreos two-to-one over chips

ahoy, but mostly, they are the most fun and delicious cookie in all of this great land of America.

Recently Nabisco changed their claim from “Americas favorite cookie,” to “Milks favorite cookie.”

Why did they back down from the campaign? Only Nabisco knows, but it sounds like they were

proven wrong. The biggest problem with crowning Americas favorite cookie is that you have to

determine what you mean by favorite. When we ask what the favorite cookie is it is important to

clarify if we mean the best selling cookie, or personal tastes of Americans. Today I will explore

both of these questions.

In a study by the New York Times, Girl Scouts sell almost as many Girl Scout Cookies in three

months as the total amount of Oreos, Nabisco sells in a whole year. When you realize that they

are comparing all twenty-eight varieties of Girl Scout Cookies to one variety of Oreo, that story

begins to fall apart. The same information could be used to say that Nabisco sells more Original

Oreos in one year than Girl Scouts sell of Thin Mints, Samoas, Tagalongs, and all other Girl Scout

Cookies combined.

Maceys, a local grocery store, had $7,319.56 in Oreo sales last year. In comparison, E.L. Fudge,

another sandwich cookie made by Keebler, sold $6,146.59, a very distant second place.

Another problem with crowning Americas favorite cookie is that it would be nearly impossible to

ask every American what their favorite cookie is. By asking several random people if they prefer

Oreos, then we can get a good general sense of how the rest of America feels on the topic.

I personally have done a survey of Nabisco two best selling cookies, Chips Ahoy and Oreos. I

went to the mall and stopped as many people as I could find, had them taste one of each cookie

and then asked which one they thought was best. Oreos were clearly the winner. I discovered in

my quest that Oreos are preferred two to one over another American favorite Chips Ahoy.

So what is it that make an Oreo so delicious? The contrast and balance between white creamy

goodness and the crunchy chocolate cookie is a beautiful thing, kind of like Yin and Yang, Up and

Down, Spock and Kirk, or Mother and Father, they complete each other. In todays world it also

symbolizes a perfect blend of Black and White.

Most people would agree that there is not any thing better that an Oreo cookie dunked and

soaked in milk. Just like the cream and the cookie, an Oreo and a cold glass of milk complete

each other, as the milk makes the cookie soft and perfect for the mouth. The Oreo gives just

enough flavor to the milk, to make the milk, what most believe to be one of the greatest

substances ever.

Another reason Oreos are Americas favorite cookie, is that Oreos are Americas most entertaining

cookie ever. Brian Krenzer, an American from New York City, explains, “You know, the best thing

to do on road trips is eat an Oreo, then smear it in your teeth, and smile at people...really gets a

reaction.” Now if a road trip with Oreos is not an American favorite, I do not know what is. Another

favorite thing to do, is to buy a bunch of Oreos pull off one of the cookie sides and plaster them all

over a good friends car. You can never get bored when you have an Oreo in you hand because

there are so many different ways to eat them, you can twist, dunk, or just eat it plain, some people

like to twist then dunk. I like to put as many as I can in to my glass of milk and let them soak as

long as I can wait before I cannot wait any more and have to eat them all.

Now you can see that even though nobody has done all the research necessary to prove it, Oreos

are Americas favorite cookie, because they sell more, and are preferred more, but mostly

because they are just so darn delicious. Just like “Weird Al” you will eat them up real fast. Now go

out and buy yourself a package of America’s Favorite Cookies!

Yes, i do realize that the quality of this blog is steadily going down hill, i mean really who posts homework assignment for the world to see

Yay for old ladies

So yesterday i was at work, surprise surprise, anywho, i got this call

"Grocery you have a phone call on line 1."

oh great... so i answer it and this old lady is on the phone, this is what she said...

"oh yes can you tell me if you have a Easter candy?"

me-"yeah what are you looking for"

her-"well...it a Hershey's chocolate egg... milk chocolate... and their in a little blue bag, with a window on it so you can see the milk chocolate eggs... and they have a sugar coating on them, kind of like mini cadbury eggs, you know the little ones that come in a pack, and they are pastel in color... but they are not cadbury they are Hershey's milk chocolate, and they are pastel in color too... and they are so good... but i just cant find them anywhere, and they are Hershey's milk chocolate eggs... oh and can you tell me the price too???"

okay so you have to remember that this is like a ninety year old lady and she only speaks like 4 words a minute.... and she has to stop for like five seconds at the end of every phrase... so it took her like five minutes to say explain these Hershey's milk chocolate eggs...

couldn't she just get on and ask,"do you have Hershey milk chocolate eggs like the mini cadbury eggs?"

any who, we didn't have them so i got back on the phone and told her we didn't have any and in the awesome little old lady voice we all love she says, "oh Darn, i guess ill try somewhere else then."

isn't darn a swear word to little old ladies